Praying.

I found this quote and was completely amazed at how much it meets me where I am right now. I feel like I pray and pray and wonder are my prayers really being heard? Does God really hear my cries and answer what I'm asking? I know the answer is yes. Yes, he hears everything that I say...even the craziest of prayers-- he hears. 

I will be really honest though and say its a struggle. It's a struggle when the answers to the prayers are not answered on my time table. It's a struggle when I see other people's prayers being answered. It's a struggle when I think I pour out my hopes and desires and nothing happens. 

I was really struggling with all of this tonight but as I got out of my car tonight I took a moment and looked up into the sky. I was struck by the vastness of the sky and the beauty of the stars. I realized that God placed each and every star where it is supposed to be in the sky. If God can do that then I know He hears every cry of my heart and everything will be answered according to his plan. 

Change.

Change. I really dislike it. I am not sure that there are very many people that really enjoy change. I mean we get so comfortable with the way that things are in our lives that when something happens to disrupt that we aren't sure what to do. Or at least that is how my life is. There are some things that have happened recently that have caused me to change. I am not saying that these changes are bad changes but they are hard changes.  Some of the changes are things that needed to happen in my life. My organizational habits are pretty terrible....those of you that have seen my old car know this to be true. So when my closet was a mess I called one of the most organized people I know, my mom. I don't think I was quite ready for the amount that she was going to make me change. It has not been easy going through this change but at the end of the day I see how much I am getting rid of and much more organized I am going to be. (Clearly change is hard for me since I had clothes in my closet that were from high school!)

I have had some changes in relationships in my life. I would say for me that is always the hardest change to go through. I get comfortable with someone being apart of my life and when that isn't the way that it has been I have a hard time. I understand the change in my life and realize that it is something that had to happen but it isn't easy. I know that I will make it through and will probably be better for it but the time period of going through the change in my life is so difficult. I found this quote the other day:

 

 

This really made an impact on my thinking when I thought about the changes in my life. It is amazing to me that God created the caterpillar to not just stay a caterpillar but to change into a beautiful butterfly. That is what He purposefully created the caterpillar to do. He didn't create the caterpillar to decide if it was ready to change into something new...the caterpillar just does it. So why do I fight so much when I am forced to change? God created us for so much more than we sometimes allow Him to do in our lives. I may not always enjoy the change that is happening in my life but I do know that there is always a greater purpose for the change. I know that not all changes are permanent and some are just for a moment in our life but I am working really hard to embrace the change that is happening right now. 

Planning ahead.

If you have never heard of Corrie ten Boom you should research her. She lived an unbelievable life and loved God through every struggle she had. This quote is found in her book The Hiding Place. It sums up so much of how I have been feeling lately. 

I struggle with the fact that I don't understand what my future looks like. I tend to want to plan ahead and have all my ducks in a row but life can not always be like that. For someone that likes to be in control, the unknown is difficult. I'm learning to let go of the need to be in control. I'm learning to let each adventure and each person I meet to make me a better person.

Some people come into your life and stay for a lifetime but some people come into your life and stay for a season. When you first meet them, there is no way to know what each person will be in your life but isn't that exciting? The person you meet tomorrow may become your very best friend or they may just be someone you meet once. I bet in either case you can learn something new from them. 

I am usually someone that is up for something new and will probably trying anything once. The last few months I have been pushed out of my comfort zone by someone especially when it comes to trying new foods! It's exciting and a little unnerving at the same time. I have found that each new place has been a great experience and I am now a fan of many new foods. 

I like adventure and I like meeting new people. I am excited to think that each new adventure and each person is preparing me for my future. A future that I don't really have control over but a future that God has already planned. So I think I will just enjoy each new adventure (hope to try even more things this year!) and each person in my life! 

Taking chances...making mistakes.

I found this quote and posted it a couple weeks ago on Facebook. At the time I was struggling with the unknown in a relationship. I just put it out there because I thought what it said was true but didn't really take it to heart. The past few days I've been doing a lot of reflecting on what I do each day. I think I live in worry and fear that I may do something wrong or that I am going to say the wrong thing or heaven forbid someone may not like me because of a choice I have made. I think it's time to stop worrying about those things. I am who I am and that isn't going to change. I need to stop worrying about all the things that could go wrong but be excited about all that could go right. In the end it may not all turn out the way I had hoped or planned but I won't spend my day worrying that things are going to go wrong. It's a new day and a new year and I am thankful and excited about the possibilities. 

Domination in 2014...

2013 has come and gone. 

What a year it was for me!

I have so much to be thankful for from trips with family, to witnessing the Cards win the National Championship, meeting new people, and passing my National Board Certification! 

Along with the amazing things in my life I have also seen my share of sadness. I didn't think this would be the year I would have to say goodbye to 2 of my grandparents. I am still not sure that I have fully accepted that they are gone. I struggle with that a lot but I also know that they are in a far better place so my struggle is completely selfish. I have tried some relationships and had some not work out. I have trusted people and opened up to people and in the end it hasn't turned out the way I hoped. 

Through this year I have learned that is life! It's crazy, it's messy, it's hard but it's absolutely beautiful at the same time. I have learned and grown so much throughout this year. I know and trust that God is up to something big and I can't wait to see what it is! 

In the words of my brother...I'm ready to Dominate 2014!